The elders have always told us that experience is the best teacher, but at the time, we didn’t understand. We didn’t quite grasp the concept, so we labeled them as crazy and weird. Well….now look at us. Understanding has been gained by way of life’s hard ass whoopings. SMH! The past year has been relentless in forcing me examine myself and the people around me. Through all of the sorrow, depression, anxiety, and doubtfulness, I found that I was in the midst of some dangerous individuals. Typically, when you hear the word “dangerous,” your brain automatically translates to coincide with something violent. But no! This is even worse. These people act in a way that is so subtle that a lot of the initial red flags are hard to read. And please understand this…anyone could fit this mold….significant others, friends, family, who-the-fuck-ever!!!!
Picture this. You’re dating someone and maybe some things are lacking. Or, maybe they’ve cheated or just failed to be attentive. What about being overly jealous and obsessive? You try to work it out and be patient, attempt to communicate the issues to no avail, and then after a while, you’re done. HOWEVER, once you end the relationship….you have now become the bad guy. And here comes along the type of person with what I refer to as the “How Dare You” Mentality.
How dare you leave me when I’m not finished emotionally and mentally abusing you? How are you stop allowing me to control you? How dare you not wait for me to be ready? How dare you get tired of me treating you like shit and cheating on you? How the fuck dare you?
People with this “How Dare You” Mentality fail to the acknowledge their wrongfulness in any situation; this could be intentional. They will always be the gotdamn victim somehow, someway. In their eyes, you are not allowed to quit being abused, neglected, taken for granted, etc.
This is very common in close friendships and family relationships, because you always want to give them the “benefit of the doubt.” So in other words, we choose NOT to believe that they are exactly who they are showing us they are. This is to make ourselves feel better about constantly giving them money, letting them live with you for free, or whatever the case may be….we prefer to believe that the people we love wouldn’t use or mistreat us, but this is highly irrational. Because as soon as you come to your senses….
How dare you stop letting me use you? How dare you make me hold my own? HOW DARE YOU?!
And have no doubts about it, there lashing out will not be in those kind words at all. You’ll definitely be a “bitch” or an “asshole” to their other friends or family members. Remember….they must portray the victim, and the victim will ALWAYS leave out all of the good you did for them though.
Moral of the story, stop being stupid and be happy!! Don’t do shit for people that won’t reciprocate that same level of love when you need it. It doesn’t matter who it is. BREAK THE UNHEALTHY CYCLES!!! You don’t have to tolerate an “ain’t shit” man just because your mama did. And you don’t have to be everybody’s “go-to” person. Fuck that!! How about this…..
