A girl’s first love is always her daddy, right? Well, it should be! But since we don’t live in a perfect world, this is not always the case, for various reasons. Maybe daddy wasn’t ready or had another family. Or possibly, he was incarcerated or deceased. Or as in my case, the mother may have purposely kept the child away. Regardless of the reason, the absence of a little girl’s daddy is often detrimental to her development, emotionally and psychologically. So many vital lessons are missed.
Fathers are so important, as their presence, or lack thereof, is a strong determinant of what kind of woman she will ultimately become (in many instances). A father’s primary role in regard to his daughter is to be the example of what a man is and how a man is supposed to treat her. Daddies are typically protective of their baby girl and love her beyond measure. They demonstrate what love, passion, respect, and consideration looks like through positive interactions with the child’s mother. He will display chivalry with his daughter as he explains why he walks on the curbside of the sidewalk or why it’s so important that she waits for him to open the door for her. He prays with his baby girl, so that she will know how any man that wants to date her in the future will have to pray for her, too. Daddy sets the tone for how his little girl will choose her mate in the future. He is supposed to be the example of what is and is not acceptable. A little girl’s daddy is her dating blueprint.
I am a strong believer that all behaviors are learned through observation. So, what happens when you are trying to do something new without a manual or tutorial? You pretty much just make things up along the way. This is also what happens when a little girl has no example of what love and respect should look and feel like. This is where she begins to look for love in all of the wrong places, literally. Domestic violence and degradation become okay, because negative attention is better than no attention. This must be love, right? Nope! Low self-esteem and risky behaviors can also result from this essential missing piece of her life puzzle. But to her, this is all she knows. After all, she received her lessons from the guy who most likely didn’t have a man in his life either to teach him how to treat her. So what do you do now?
Well….put on your crown! This is easier said than done, of course; however, it’s worth the work. Write down those things that you want or feel that you deserve as a lady, like being kissed on the hand or having your chair pulled out without having to ask. Also, write down those things that are automatic disqualifiers, such as physical or verbal abuse and a man’s failure to be present for their child. Most importantly, make sure that you never make an exception to those automatic disqualifiers! Know your worth!!!
Next….transform yourself! In order to be acknowledged as a princess or queen, you must embody it. Dress appropriately and carry yourself as such. Speak intelligently and treat people with kindness, but never be naïve. Do not be afraid to say what you want and lay out the ground rules. Know that celibacy is your choice; a great choice at that. Celibacy will definitely weed out those guys that are only looking for sex. Most importantly, learn to love yourself FIRST! You cannot love or be loved by others unless you love you first.
